I am sitting at my desk, drinking my Ukrainian Cherry Coffee, and working on the paperwork for the three cars we are talking across in a little under three weeks.
I remember back to the first time we crossed the border with one car, almost exactly one year ago to the date we will be crossing this year.
Let me paint a picture for you!
Our first car was donated to the Police in Chornobyl. Myself and Craig knew the paperwork for the car was good, After all who knows the laws better than the Police.
We arrive at the border crossing nice and early knowing nothing about the place. The Queue is enormous, and there are also several lanes of traffic leading to the Polish border, somewhere off in the distance!
So, we have two problems! One, the coffee we had for breakfast is rapidly turning into a problem, and two, which queue do we join!
I take a walk down the queue, and problem 1 is rapidly solved when I come across a row of portable toilets, however they are grim, really really grim. Deep breath and mission is accomplished! Lets hope we don’t need them for anything longer than 30 seconds!
After a good 10 minutes, I reach the end of the queue, and things are no clearer. Many cars, mostly Ukrainian, with people standing around smoking and chatting. The mood seems good, but no one speaks English.
There are traffic lights over each lane, which are alternating between a red cross and nothing. I wait for a while and then the lights go green, and cars start moving. 5 cars go across and then the lights go red again.
After a while it looks like 5 cars go across into the Polish Border control every 15 to 20 minutes, so I walk back, count the cars and do the maths!
Turns out we will be waiting for another 2 hours. At least the weather is good, and we can wait.
Eventually it is our turn!
We go through the lights, drive down a short road, and eventually come to another queue!
At least this one is only 10 cars long. Do we drive down the VIP UN/NGO Queue?
We decide not and wait.
This queue moves a bit quicker and eventually we get to the Polish side of the border. Passports are checked, the car is inspected and we are asked if we have any guns or explosives on board. For one brief second, I thought about mentioning Craig as he had Chilli the night before, but thought better of it, and with my best face, meekly answered no!
We then move into No-Mans territory, we have left Poland and the safety of the EU, but are not yet in Ukraine. We see Ukrainian Flags flying!!!
The first thing you notice as you approach the Ukrainian Border is the armed border guard. He flags us down. Writes something on a piece of paper and then hands us the paper.
Now this would be most confusing except I had done this before a few months earlier.
This piece of paper is the key to everything! Every station you go to has to stamp it, and with the right stamp and it has to be done in the right order!
So armed with our all important piece of paper we pull up at the border crossing, and get out. Passports are checked, paper is stamped, V5 is checked, paper is stamped, Car is searched, and you guessed it, paper is stamped.
All we have to do now is do the Customs declaration for the car and we are home and free!
We ask where it is, and ominously they point to the very scary looking building to the left!
And also point down to the ground. We take it they mean we go downstairs!
We walk over, go down the stairs, and wow, it is like going back 50 years!
It is a small grey and very sorry looking area, with many double glazed UPVC windows. Most of which are closed, but two are open. I take one, Craig take the other. There is a person behind the window furiously stamping documents and ignoring our presence completely.
OK, this is not working, so we look to see where everyone else is going, and there are a row of similar windows at the far end of the room.
We go there and wave our paper work at the most friendly of the Customs officers.
He grabs the paperwork, our passports and the most important piece of paper and then closes his window!!!
OK, what now?
We wait, and after 10 minutes, the window is opened, he smiles (sort of) and hands us everything back, stamps everywhere!
Are we free to go, we think so, so we almost run back to the car.
Now, I know this last bit, we drive down towards the exit, avoiding the absolutely magnificent potholes, and eventually get to a shed with a pole across the road!
As we approach, another border guard comes out, fully armed and waves us to stop. We give him the piece of paper, now covered in stamps!
He carefully studies it for what feels like hours, but in fact is only a few seconds, waves us though and the pole lifts up.
We drive off feeling a little sad that we have left the piece of paper behind! But excited that we have succeeded and are now officially in Ukraine!
We still have a long journey ahead to get to Kyiv, but spirits are high and Highway to Hell is immediately put on the stereo!
We are in!!!
Since this first time, we have learned a lot.
No1. Tip, Make copies of everything. If you don’t, you have to go to the Copier room, where a man will grudgingly make copies for you!
If you don’t do this, it makes everyone very unhappy. Conversely, if you do make copies, it makes everyone slightly less unhappy.
No.2 Tip. DO NOT smile, ever! Ukrainians think people they do not know who are smiling are idiots! This is very hard for us British who smile a lot when nervous.
No.3 Tip There is a very nice toilet in both the Polish and Ukrainian Border buildings so NEVER ever go in the Portable Loos.
No.4 Tip. Patience is the key! We have crossed in under an hour or it has taken many hours. I have heard horror stories about people being stopped for days. It is what it is!
I hope you have enjoyed this rather long blog. It is an incredible experience to go through a proper border, something most of us have become very unaccustomed too.
I will have a think about the next part of the story to tell you!
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